


Alone

by Midori_Hime



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Squint and you miss it ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-09 00:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midori_Hime/pseuds/Midori_Hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi is alone. Its how his life works. Its how the world works.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Taudi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taudi/gifts).



Alone. 

You spent your first nine months of creation alone. You then spent the next few years without sound, unable to make anyone understand you. You then were alone in trying to figure out how to “grow up”.  

He, being close enough to a genius, was alone in the academy. His father had left him even more alone when he killed himself. After that, even though he was surrounded by caring teachers and old women trying to care for him, he felt like he was the only one alive. How could nobody else see the harsh world they lived in? 

Shinobi were always alone. It was their nature. You fought for your village but that was the same village that sent you out on missions that could claim your life, the same missions where your comrades could die or betray you. 

On the outside, you could be charming, funny, a leader, but you were always alone. That was life. It was his rock and what he lived by. 

For a long time, he stayed that way. Anytime he was assigned a team to teach, he’d figure out how to push them away before they could remember more than his name. Any time a woman tried to woo him, he’d figure out how to fool her. Gai wasn’t as easy to fool or to stay away from, but the man recognised his need for himself so at least that was something. 

For years, he’d go and visit Obito. Day in, day out, sitting, standing, staring. He could talk about his life, but the years had made him aloof and his desire to be left alone (was it desire? Or was it that he was afraid of letting anyone become to close? He didn’t care to find out). They were both alone - one, lying cold under a rock and him, in the sunshine wishing they had their places reversed. 

He’d go on missions and do as he was told. He’d train and do chores. Life was monotonous, but with that, it meant no more sorrow, no more losing people and no more harsh reality killing everything he knew. If stability meant he had to be alone, then so be it. 

Then he was assigned another team. Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto. He knew their names, their stories. He knew how much time being a team leader would take. He gave them the same task as all the others, half hoping they’d fail. They did, but he found himself giving them a second chance. It would be a dick move to take it back, so he let them have their fun. And they passed. 

Well, at least the Hokage couldn’t get annoyed with him for shirking his duties anymore. 

He knew who they were and what they wanted in in life, but he didn’t know _them_. Part of team bonding and being a team was getting to know each other and watching each other grow. But he couldn’t do that - who on earth actually likes going into something unprepared? So he found the one thing that connected them - a man by the name of Umino Iruka.  

A chuunin who didn’t look that tough and a few years younger than him. If this man was the teacher, he hated to think how soft his students really were. Always laughing over something one of the three had done or remembering a blunder with a fond expression. Perhaps it was admirable that the man wore his heart on his sleeve - despite the man’s own past, Iruka still didn’t seem to realise that being so open would lead you to be covered in wounds. Yet in saying that, despite the smiles and laughter, there was a distinct, though discreet, sadness in his eyes. A discussion over lunch and he had all the information he thought to be necessary. He didn’t like the man, though he didn’t hate him either - he was simply one of the people who simply existed in his world, much like he was simply there in the actual world.  

As time went by, he’d remember various bits of Iruka’s information. Eventually he started to learn enough about his charges to start handling them without another’s help. He was their teacher and he’d teach them his way. He could stand on his own two feet to do so, not needing nor wanting another’s help. 

He told Iruka as much when the man visited him out of the blue one day. He honestly couldn’t remember the last time someone had laughed at him, so it stung a bit when the younger man started cackling.  

“Kakashi, I know you don’t need help. You’re a legend, just like your father. These kids all have great futures ahead of them - I think you’re the only one who can lead them. You share Sasuke’s sharingan and Sakura’s intelligence while you also know how to control large amounts of chakra, something which Naruto will need to know. Not to mention, you’re presence will help calm him down some.” 

“But I’d like to hear how they’ve been. You’re keeping them busy and since they’re no longer at the academy, I can’t see them and watch over them like I used to. Of course, now thats your job but I can’t let go so easily. People are social creatures and we become attached to one another. The feelings we have for each other are beyond reason - we’d give anything to keep their happiness.” 

“I want to still be close to them. I want to know more than what they tell me - as teenagers, they won’t admit their mistakes and they’ll alter facts to make themselves look better. As their teacher, I want you to help keep me in their lives, to help me know the truth more so I can also continue being their teacher, though not in the same way you are. My students are important to me and I never want to break our bond.” 

“Wouldn’t you prefer not to hear the shouting and the fights and the complaints and tears? Wouldn’t you prefer to be alone?” He was careful and cautious, always thinking ten moves ahead. Yet there was something about this man that made him throw all of that to the wind.  

“Alone? Who would want that? Everything you can do by yourself can be done faster or in a more enjoyable way with others. You can accomplish many things by yourself, but with others, what you can accomplish almost defies possibility. With others, those you call your friends or family, you don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not - they’ll except you for who you are. Throughout the crying, the fighting, the complaints, the lies, the joys and the struggles, a true friend will always be by your side. Perhaps its inappropriate for me to say so as a teacher, but I want to be friends with my students - I want to always be there for them.” 

“And if there is someone important in their life, someone who is always with them, I want to be their friend too.” 

He watched the man leave, replaying the words over and over again. _How corny._ He wasn’t wrong, but neither was Iruka. On his team he had the aloof one, the love struck one and the impossibly loud one. Perhaps there was need for him to be alone. Perhaps, after all this time, he had found someone just like him. Just like Obito was in the ground while he was above it, Iruka was enjoying the world while he was rejecting it.  

Corny though it may be, he couldn’t help but smile at having a sun in his life. 

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written either of these characters before and found the prompt difficult, but I hope its still enjoyable! Also, I'm not good with angst so I hope I did okay >.


End file.
